[6-26-14]

 I'm Not sleeping yet I thought after All the work I did today and getting very little sleep last night, I'd drift right off.
But For some reason I'm still so unsettled. What's going on with me?
Is it that my room not fully cleansed? You know the big deal, physically cleansed, energy  cleansed you know how it goes. I haven't energy cleansed The space yet. Goes without saying that I'm still very uncomfortable in my own space right now. I need to smudge this room. I'm still having some really crazy dreams right now. there's still too much of the fear getting into my world I'm trying to mind my own business right now. and My business is securing an income from investments and right by myself. Saving and stashing my way out of a bad deal. My dreams often depict an old milk cow, and a very ugly dog both of these are how I think of karen and bill. No surprises there. It's how I make them back off that is. Thank you Lord and Lady for your protection and council. The psi-dagger is coming to me at my call. This brings the armor, and thus protection and safety.
 I cannot say I'm left feeling badly for myself after these dreams.  get the same cold satisfaction and lack of any other emotion as I walk  away. In fact I would say this makes me feel, much stronger and superior mentally, to the three of them Johnny is in my mind a pig. And I have been hog attacked in my dreams and ho-opono- ponoed him into the size of a mouse,and he skulked away into the leaves no longer a threat. In each dream dad, (the man who loved to hit) was watching me as the others tried to kill me. laughing until I got the upper hand dad too has been in my dreams a lot lately in a bad context watching me get attacked not even trying to help me escape my attacker, but he was taking pleasure and laughing at my distress and I was in the fact that I was in terrible danger for my life, from my own siblings and an inlaw outlaw. He has even interfered in help getting to me. Why? But then again to his mind why let me live especially since he couldn't kill me himself and failed so many times in the years before he died. He couldn't keep me locked up in Austin State Hospital. and make me suffer The old fashioned evil things that people used to do there. He could kill me because something made him afraid to do so. and karen and bill made an agreement with him to get me locked up or kill me as they saw fit. I think their consensus is better I be dead than face the risk of my escaping and getting a far better life than they ever will have If I succeed It means that they have completely failed. Failure make them losers. and they are constantly failing. What then are these dreams saying?